ROB PARKER SHITCANNED BY ESPN!!!

Remember Rob Parker and that cornball brother slick shit he said about Robert Griffin? Well you may not- and ESPN wants to keep it that way!

According to reports, the worldwide leader in sports fired that ass as soon as his 30-day suspension was up!

Rob, rob, rob….damn, tough break nigga! But that’s how it is when you speak that brotherman shit, spend all your time at a barbershop, and NEVER have no fucking shapeup!

Check out the comments that brought that guillotine down on this nigga’s neck:

Son, what were you thinking? And them niggas you thought you were riding for? Not only are they laughing at you, but they were also riding with RG3 to begin with fool! Shit, who cares if he’s republican? That nigga can run like a prime Mike Vick AND complete 70% of his passes! You know how many jokers out there are now using the Redskins in their Madden ’13 Franchise mode?

But really, what was the point? Parker kinda rambled and threw out some shots but he never formed any true argument. Was he race baiting, or just trying to make headlines? Was ESPN aware he was about to say that leftfield shit?

He says so, but it doesn’t matter now my g! You played yourself! You clearly had no real thought behind what you said because the argument was all over the fucking place…THEN YOU APOLOGIZED! Even Stephen A. Smith was embarrassed!

Good luck bouncing back though. And if shit ain’t bubbling out there, SLATAH is looking for a sports writer! Clean up that hairline before you apply and you’re good here.

METTA WORLD PEACE/RON ARTEST STILL BUGGIN!!!

Any major story here?  No.  Any new videos for the world to see?  No again.  Just some more funny Metta World Peace being Ron Artest shit!

If you caught last nights Lakers-Clippers game, there was a moment where Peace/Artest mushed Chris Paul by the head running after a loose ball, and another moment where, after tip-off, he mugged Caron Butler and ran him out of bounds.

Ahhhhh man, we must salute this absolute savage of a basketball player, the only man the first man(along with Stephen Jackson) to ever run up in the stands in Detroit and whoop ass!

The older he’s gotten and the more he’s lost from his game, the more deranged and physical he’s become and it’s been a treasure to watch.  So we here at SLATAH wanted to do something special.

Check out this hilarious Ron Artest tribute:

REX RYAN TATTOOS MARK SANCHEZ ON HIS WIFE!!!

Damn, damn, daaaaaaaammmmn son!  We tried to take mercy on these New York Jets, we really did.  The schedule was over, mercifully, they missed the playoffs and we’re free to fall back and hide for a minute.  But if we’ve learned anything about these J-E-T-S since Rex Ryan came to town, besides the fact that they S-U-C-K, it’s they flatly refuse NOT to be a laughing stock.

Ryan, on vacation with his wife somewhere, was snapped up by paparazzi.  Why anyone wants a picture of this sloppy joker and his wife after their weirdness hit the net a few years ago is  beyond me.

How this cat still has a job is beyond me too, but check out the tattoo on his arm  the photogs flicked up:

Wooooooow my nigga!  You tatted your wife on your arm, which is nothing out of the ordinary.  But you tatted your bum ass quarterback’s  jersey on her?  And is it me, or is she Tebow-ing?!

Where do we start?  This is a hard, HARD, loss here on so many levels.  Not only is Mark Sanchez so trash that he’s almost cost Rex his job, but just the principle behind the tattoo is disturbing.  You tatted another man on your body.  Over your wife.  What. The. Fuck?

Mark was a ladies man back in the day at USC(probably not as much now, as we’ve all seen him play), and we already know all the hoes love Tebow.  Is it a reach to conclude the tattoo gives these two replacement player 2nd string quarterbacks permission to tattoo Rex’s wife?  I don’t know y’all, but I can envision such a scenario!

You saw the foot fetish video- I totally see the Ryan’s being the type of jumps that throw watch parties and all that freaky shit!  That, I actually salute Rex for!  A happy wife is a happy life, and how many hoes can say they’ve been rented out to superman, savage ass NFL players?  We aren’t talking these frail ass NBA niggas or the dirty redneck baseball players here!

To our estimation, this is something to keep an eye on.  We’re going to try to leave the Jets alone until August, but if Ryan and Sanchez pop up with chlamydia or some shit, we know what time it is!

EAGLES WASTE NO TIME, SHIT-CAN ANDY REID!!!

Almost immediately following a hefty dose (no pun intended) of that ass whoopin from the New York Giants, 42-7, the Eagles wasted no time in telling Andy Reid to kick rocks.

Reid, who’d been the NFL‘s longest tenured coach spending 14 seasons in Philly, was reportedly let go after a turbulent 2012.  He rebuilt, then destroyed Michael Vick and flatly refuse to let his all-world running back, Lesean McCoy, get his dirty hands the ball too much.

3rd and 1?  Better air it out.

4th and goal?  Let’s bring in four wide receivers.

Playing the worst run-defense in the NFL today?  We’ll trick them by throwing the ball 45 times!

Reid also endured personal tragedy, when his thugged out sons got cased up and did prison bids before one of them passed away earlier this year.

Things weren’t always bad though.  Dude went to the playoffs damn near every year and hit the Super Bowl once, on the strength of Terrell muh’fuckin Owens.  The Patriots outlasted them when Donovan McNabb had an on-field anxiety attack or some similar bitch-made episode.

It’s been an up-and-down run, but how appropriate is it that it was the Giants who gave ’em that work and, in the end, sent Reid on his way?

JETS EXCITED THAT END IS NEAR!!!

How about these bum ass New York Jets?  Wow what a shitty, shitty existence they’ve had- with a few exceptions- but what a particularly shitty season.

The good news?  It’s almost over!  Just 60 more minutes of this fuckery and Tony Sparano can go, Tim Tebow can kick rocks, Mark Sanchez can hide his face, and Darrelle Revis can reassess where his life is headed.

Coach Rex Ryan?  Welp, dude has practically asked to be fired.

He’s since sorta, kinda recanted, but keep it real with YOURSELF Rex.  Who would want to coach this team, or even be seen around it if they didn’t have to be?  Mike Tannenbaum is a walking L, Woody Johnson doesn’t give a shit about anything football-related, and Joe Namath, the drunk uncle the organization can’t seem to get rid of, has been talking more reckless with each passing day.

What’s the over/under on how many Saturday night calls have been placed to the Jets to send someone to pull Uncle Joe out of a urinal at some shithole bar in New Jersey the last 5 years?

So, in a respectable show of mercy to the fans, and to the organization, NFL schedule makers have decided it is time for the Jets to save as much face as they can and conclude this extraordinary 2012 campaign.  You know, stop playing right around playoff time.

Now, if only the New York football Giants and the league can find some sort of out clause to evict the Jets from MetLife Stadium, maybe they can conclude their run as a franchise!

BROOKLYN NETS SHIT-CAN AVERY JOHNSON!!!

Man. What else can you say but….TOUGH BREAK NIGGA!

I like Coach Johnson so I’m not gonna be too harsh here, but what’s going on? In a press conference, he made a big deal about some secretive “blame the coach” shit, seemingly alluding to other problems within the organization that led to his firing. He was very cryptic about it, but the team IS 3-10 this month.

Whether or not he should’ve been given more time with this new roster is surely a point that can be argued, but for a strong starting-5(Deron Williams, Joe Johnson, Gerald Wallace, Kris Humphries, Brook Lopez) and top-3 off the bench(C.J. Watson, Andrey Blatche, Reggie Evans) the squad is certainly underachieving.

P.J. Carlesimo will fill in as interim coach as Brooklyn sets its sights on Bulls/Lakers zenmaster Phil Jackson, but we all know his old, rich, eccentric ass isn’t coming to Brooklyn to coach no damn Nets!

Keep an eye on what happens next at the Barclay’s though people. Deron Williams, out of the clear blue sky, said Johnson’s firing “isn’t my fault,” which probably means this sloppy wave headed mixed breed joker had something to do with this. He already bodybagged the great Jerry Sloan in Utah!