My nigga! Let us all salute Mr. Kanye West, aka Yeezus, for showing the world not only that it is OKAY to strong-arm an (alleged) hoe’s whole operation, but also for showing us HOW!

It’s about time we dispel this, “you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife,” shit. Of course you can fool. In fact, a hoebag makes the very best kind of housewife:

– She’s a trophy to parade around your hatin, bum ass friends

– Said friends will believe they can beat, which will either serve as comic relief or let you know what’s what and who’s who

– If shit don’t work out, she knows other hoes who, by that point, would’ve already tried you! YOUR girl a superstar all from a home movie? Don’t get it twisted, there are millions of home movies all over the web, but only ONE has turned a sloppy, haphazard hoe into an A-list celebrity. Kim Kardashian bitches!

Tonya Harding tried it…didn’t work. Eve had one with Stevie J back in the day…we passed. The hoes from Flavor of Love…no thanks. Montana Fisburne..fuck outta here. Paris Hilton‘s tapes? She was sort of out there for a minute, but today no one gives a fuck.

Kim’s pimp hand is not to be slept on. She blew way past Ray-J in celebrity, the little singing ass joker who used to live with Brandy. Kim turned this sextape into a clothing line, jewelry, TV shows, paid appearances and all kinds of other crap.

The truest measure of a pimp: you ain’t shit unless you can put your homeys on! The other Kardashian sisters? Radio shows, TV shows, one of them married an NBA baller for fuck’s sake! Scott Disick has a restaurant and has become some sort of asshole pseudo-celebrity. The little punk ass brother, Rob, takes down incredible women, has a bunch of twitter followers, hops between mansions (and has his own couch in each one) and sells socks. Mothafuckin socks my ninja!

You don’t have to like any of these highfalutin ass hoebags, but I’ll be damned if their hustle isn’t to be respected. You think Lindsay Lohan could’ve bagged herself a Kanye West or Lamar Odom? She can’t even dome her way out of trouble anymore.

And this all brings us back to the man they call Yeezy. He wasn’t fucking around, not even a little bit y’all, and that’s how you have to be. Reggie Bush was confused and Kris Humphries dumbass was plain clueless.

Yeezy? That man made sure he paraded this woman around and promptly knocked the bitch up like “you ain’t goin’ nowhere!”

Let this serve as a lesson. In 2013, your “clique” ain’t flocking right unless you keep a transitioning hoe on your arm fam! G’s up all the time, and salute KimYe!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Lmao! Ur very entertaining. Salute!

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